NNY vs a pizza waiter
by catmagnent
Summary: Nny takes todd to the pizza palace for late lunch/ early supper. And when a waiter gives nny the wrong salad dressing, all hell breaks loose.


a.n: i hope this doesnt deter anyone from their love of pizza. my favorites are pepperoni on either hand tossed or thin, canadian bacon/ham on hand tossed, plain cheese, and beef.

disclaimer: i dont own jthm. jhonen v. is a god, and nny is an extension of his personality.

nny and todd were starving after a hard day of cleaning out the lower basements, and the sub basement areas. taking out dead bodies and old bones with rat chew marks, ripped and bloody clothing, and shoes, and scrubbing down shakles, wrist straps on the torture racks, cleaning the intestine reel, and scrubbing out the bleach dripper.

"lets go out for pizza." said todd azs he wiped the sweat off of his face.

"sounds good. go upstairs and wash up, and put on a clean shirt. i will be up shortly." said nny as he grabbed the cleaning bucket and the pine scented cleaner.

he climbed up the stairs and he heard todd in the bathroom washing up. and humming a little childish medley, 'pizza palace here i come, add some meat and cheese cause i wanted some...' nny rolled his eyes and he put on a decent shirt and grabbed his wallet.

todd came bouncing out, 'where we going to eat huh?" he gleefully asked.

"pizza palace." sighed nny.

"yay!" said todd and he zipped out the door.

•••••••••••••••••••••••twenty five minutes later•••••••••••••••••••••••

"todd, let the man stamp your hand. its for security purposes." said nny.

"okay." spouted todd excitedly.

all the games and rides he could have ever imagined. he had never been there, and he was going to live it up while he could.

"may i pleeeeese have some tokens daddy?" asked todd.

"here you go. have a whole cup full." said nny as he handed his little boy a cup of tokens for rides and games.

todd lived it up while nny ordered drinks for two and a couple of pizzas.

"i need a pitcher of diet cherry cola, and two large pizzas. one make it beef and cheddar, and the second one i want ham and provolone."

"okay sir, that will be 34 dollars and 67 cents. please." said the cashier.

nny hated the waitstaff already. especially this one pain in the ass waiter.

this guy could take a dump and swear it dont stink.

nny hated people like that. he had wanted bacon flavored ranch dressing with his salad. it was even listed on the menu for types of salad dressings. the waiter brought him blue cheese. not bacon.

nny's eye began to twitch angrily.

"i asked for bacon ranch dressing, you brought me blue cheese. please bring me bacon flavored ranch for my salad."

the waiter left for a moment and came back. "here you go sir."

it was more ranch yeah, but peppercorn blue cheese? nny's other eye began to twitch angrily too.

"thats it. im gonna take it out of your ass if i have to!" said nny through clenched teeth.

the waiter backed up into the back salad prep area, and demanded bacon flavored ranch salad dressing.

"w..w..we dont have any bacon ranch." sputtered the waiter nervously.

"liar!" spouted nny angrily.

••••••••••••for the love of bacon ranch dressing••••••••••••••••

"there's a whole fucking jar of bacon flavored ranch with bacon bits! give it to me." snarled nny.

the waiter stupidly held his ground. "no." was his only reply.

that poor bastard!

nny flew into a homicidal rage. he picked up a knife and began making slashes all over the waiter's body. then he dragged him out of the prep area and into that filthy area known as •••••••••••the kiddy potty••••••••••••••.

how awful the smell of kid poop, and the rancid smell of unflushed pee.

"now you will pay for your stupidity, you insulant pee on!" growled nny as he dunked the gushing waiters head into the unflushed potty full of pee and poo.

"how does it feel?" screamed nny "everytime you bring someone the wrong salad dressing, the wrong pizza or soda, you will pay for your stupidity."

and with that, nny kicked one of the openly tender gash wounds, and as the waiter bellowed in pain, nny dunked his head into the nasty comode.

the waiter vomited a piece of poo, and whatever else he had for lunch that day landed in the toilet.

"i..i cant read." cried the waiter.

"thats no excuse," said nny as he doused the waiter's head once more into the filth laiden toilet "now die scum bag."

and with that, nny pressed the waiter's head and face into the toilet and pressed it to the bottom. then nny flushed the super power flush toilet for kids.

the waiter kicked and gurgled, and then stopped squirming altogether.

it was all too much for him, and he died face down in the toilet.

nny washed his hands really good, and went back out to eat and watch todd have his fun time.


End file.
